My dad answered some of Proust’s Questionnaire a couple weeks back:
- What is your idea of perfect happiness?
What is perfect though? It is undefined. Happiness, perhaps, – is being able to do things in a very relaxed manner, the way you want it to be, and you’re not frustrated.
- What is your greatest fear?
Greatest fear? Uh, that’s a hard one. My greatest fear is to—emotional? Physical? I think I learned how to not be fearful. I don’t know how to answer that question. Maybe, [Elvin] forgetting me. Forget that I am his dad. I fear that he would get impatient with me. Especially when he is soaring far past his ambitions. I just don’t want him to forget about me, forget that I am his father.
- What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Deplore meaning hate? You want to see what you are in other people. A sort of perfectionism. “I’m great, so I want you to be great”; “I’m kind, I want you to be kind”. I’m trying not to be like that. I try to lower my expectations of people. I want people to behave the way I do, do the things like I do, but people aren’t like that. That’s why I don’t like that about myself. I’m very aware that no two people are alike, but sometimes I have the tendency to expect other people to be just like me.
- What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Dishonesty. There is an extension to that. You know when people convince themselves they are honest when they know themselves they are dishonest; they are hypocrites, something like that. I don’t like disingenuous people.
- Which living person do you most admire?
[Sighs]. I would have picked my father, but he’s passed now. Could I still say him as if he was still living? Technically, we didn’t spend that much time together. But he never ran out of stories to tell me. I should include my mom too, the way she brought us up. She had a career but she never failed at taking care of us. She had a social life, too. Strict, but… Let me tell you, when I went to high school, they were confident in their way of raising me. They knew I would be fine when I moved to Quezon City at the age of 13. It’s because the way my parents brought me up. They were strict, but not in the sense that is suffocating. I admire my parents very much so.